doing my best fr 🙏😭

 i am not the strong woman i thought i was.... i am struggling everyday and i have no hope left 💔 i am so scared i don't want to do anything anymore i just want to get over all of this. we don't even corridor anymore bc we r all studying and mugging and even in school during breaks everyone is constantly studying. i will forever be jealous of some people. i am happy for them but sometimes i just wish that i was like them. i'm sure they have their own problems but i just dw be myself sometimes. i just want to be a better student and person. (this got emo very fast but its ok need to get out my feelings) idk manz life has been getting harder and idk what to do about it bc i cant stop the grind bc it will be detrimental to no one but myself. and i really want to achieve my goals but i'm so sick and tired of doing the same thing and living the same life everyday 😓 i think about what would it would have been like if i worked hard since y3... i now regret my actions sm... ystd during grad the guest of honour kept saying and emphasising that failing os wouldnt be the end of the world... but at this point of our lives it feels like it... i know in 5 years if i look back on this i would have laughed bc i got so overly stressed about this. like now i look back on psle and it was so chill idk why i was so stressed ab it but ik then it felt like the end if i flunked it... rn os and studies is all that we have in our life that's determining our worth.... and rn i feel so guilty for blogging too bc i'm essentially wasting time that could have been spent studying. im so tired.

i drafted this ystd but i was too emo to post so im gonna add things then post!

anyways, os end in 7 weeks... which is insane.... we just need to last a little longer and we'll be the most free we've been in 4 years! which is absolutely insane. we're slowly getting back prelim results 😓 tmr is chem and bio prac (maybe ss also... not sure) and im terrified for both pracs bc im 80% confident i messed up both 😂 but its ok ❤ bc life goes on and i will improve and i will be a better person during os 😊🙏

blogging has become a comfort to me bc i can post whatever iw and (usually) nobody texts me or anyth and asks ab it so i let it all out but to no one in specific and i can say how much i want and it keeps the blog alive lol! 

hope everyones life is going better than mine 🙂 jiayou for eoys and praying for prelim results for my olvl bbgs 😘 goodbye.